So as most of you know already we had a little hang up with our fingerprints – well – Matt’s fingerprints. I know its a bit dramatic, but this is pretty much how I feel right now….
He got in a bad car accident in 2003 and injured all of his fingers on his left hand pretty severely. Short version is they were supposed to cut them all off but were able to pin them back on and fuse his bones straight so that he would at least have them and look “normal”. (I know, that’s some dirty details and many years of surgery and therapy ensued) He was my very own Wolverine for a while. And I do love me some X-Men. All kidding aside…. He does very well (considering) with his injury and most people have NO CLUE he even has one.
BUT … fingerprinting is one of the (many) hard things. And really something you never feel like you would have to worry about (unless you choose a life of crime & well, then, I guess you do..)… BUT when you are adopting, you know all too well..they are mandatory! SO, I think total this is the 6th time we have been fingerprinted and now he has to go again. Poor guy. Not only is he among a very small percent of people that are ‘unclassifiable’ it also is very painful for him to go through. Trust me, I hate watching.
And REALLY?? Do we need THAT many fingerprints? I mean – they don’t change!! Annnndd we had them to get Koral which was only 2 years ago. As much as we may seem like Bonnie and Clyde, alas…we are just your every day couple. Enough with the
stupid fingerprints already!!
Ok. That was my tantrum. I’m done.
Anyways….I really DO feel like this was a move of the Lord. To delay us a bit.
Not because we don’t want to know who our child is.
Not because we don’t care to see that sweet face.
Not because we are giving up or don’t have things together.
Because we do.
But I really have this weird feeling, deep in my soul, that I can’t explain…that I have to be delayed.
So maybe our child isn’t ready yet. Maybe something crazy that I just don’t know or understand is going on.
And boy – am I SO GLAD ABOUT THAT.
We even went this morning (again…NOT our appointment time) to the USCIS Building in Durham. We drove the hour to get there and walked in, thinking it would go just as smoothly as it did last week.
It was as opposite as last week as you could get and we saw all the same exact people working there!! Who last week, didn’t notice our appointment was 3 weeks from now, who let us immediately in – past 4 security guards – to immediate seating, then immediate fingerprinting and sent us on our merry way 15 minutes later. We were back in the car and on the way home faster than we could laugh about what was happening.
Today was oh-so different. But I wanted to show God that we were trying. And He spoke loud and clear to me through circumstance.
This is His plan. We are just living it. Trying our best to navigate the way we think He wants us to.
The next time we will be able to go to Durham again is a week from today. (AGAIN, not our appointment time, but I’m annoying like that and will just keep going) So we wait till wed. AND…his fingerprints (should we need more delay) could get rejected again. I am praying they don’t, but we will have to play the game to see what happens.
The funny part in all of it for me at this point is………we went to the SAME building and had the SAME fingerprints done to get Koral. And they passed!
same fingers. same file. on record.
I’d say God is working on something.
So, I’ll let Him.
It doesn’t mean I am happy about it, or able to turn the switch off and just not think about my precious baby being in an orphanage across the world from me.
The days are LONG and S L O W people. I am going a little nuts. But I trust my king. My Father in heaven. He knows so much better than me. So as much as it hurts…